My own worst enemy

Ugh it always turns out to be me. “Setting boundaries inevitably involves taking responsibility for your choices. You are the one who makes them. You are the one who must live with their consequences. And you are the one who may be keeping yourself from making the choices you could be happy with.” Henry Cloud […]

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Put it all on the table

Okay. Let’s put it all in a big pile on the table and sort it out: Does it spark joy or indigestion? Does it serve me or is it the next robot overlord? Does it have meaning or does it have tentacles? Does it have value or is it an actual pile of dog shit? […]

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What to do if it’s broken

Here’s what I’ve realized about trying to fix things, or people, or myself: I can’t. If it’s broken, it’s broken. Trying to fix it won’t make it less broken. I’m delaying the inevitable: in the face of brokenness, acceptance is the only possible response. If it isn’t broken, trying to fix it is a waste […]

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Anything could happen

My earliest memories of childhood involve a tree. Well, probably not the earliest memories, but my earliest memories of independent childhood, when I was old enough to be outside and play by myself. I wonder what age that began for a child in the 1980s. I feel like it never begins for many children now. […]

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When it’s time to dig

I know it’s in there. The haunting, the desire, the voice you can’t unhear. I hear it, too — louder sometimes than others. It is the best, most annoying and infuriating and blessed thing I’ve ever heard. It is life. I can’t stand it, usually. Is this enlightenment? Is this awareness? It doesn’t feel like […]

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My favorite flower

“It is good to collect things, but it is better to go on walks.” —Anatole France After 16 years of marriage, J told me (in a moment of anger, which I’d learned by then to provoke in order to get honest answers) that all he really knows about me is that I like books and […]

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Attention is religion

There are such tender things in this chaos, so many fragile things. I cannot save them, I can do so little to curb the violence of existing, but I can notice. I can see them. I can appreciate a small bit of life when I see it, how perfect it is, how bravely it moves […]

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The bullshit cabinet

How to build one: Take a small wooden box. No that will never do there is a lot of bullshit. Take a large wooden box. It should have sides all around and a top and a bottom. Make one of the sides be a door. Use tools for this. I don’t know how. Ask IKEA. […]

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