Nothing is a given

Nothing is a given. Everything requires a decision.

Not deciding is deciding not to decide just like Not eating is deciding not to eat. So don’t complain later when you’re hungry, I guess is what I’m saying.

Maybe you don’t eat because you don’t know what to eat or you don’t like any of the options available.

Z walks into the kitchen the other day and says: “There’s nothing to eat, there’s never anything to eat.”

I did a Vanna White style showcasing of the various and many food items available. Turns out I am pretty damn good at dramatically opening cabinets and appliances and waving my arms.

He was not impressed, nor was he excited by my conclusion: “This is not a lack-of-food problem but a not-liking-your-options problem.”

He really likes those pretzel chips with spinach and asiago dip from Costco. Really likes as in, doesn’t much want to eat anything else.

He can choose not to partake of the actual available options.

He’ll be hungry instead.

But it’s not because there’s no food to eat. It’s not because he was unable to eat. It’s because he didn’t like the options, so he chose: None Of These, Please. And that is exactly what he got.

Which maybe is fine and good for the situation. Maybe there’s something here to be said about holding out for what you really want? But I think we get that part mixed up. I think what he really wanted was to not be hungry. The pretzel-dip combo would have solved that problem, sure. So would a lot of other things: a banana, a grilled cheese sandwich, a smoothie, leftovers. But the banana isn’t enough, he just had a grilled cheese sandwich yesterday, a smoothie is too much work, leftovers are boring.

The single desirable option he had in mind to appease his hunger seemed so much better than all the other options that he chose to quit recognizing them as options.

I wonder how many times we do that.

Fixate on a single potential solution and miss the many others that exist.

Fixate on the how and ignore the what.

Fixate on the thing we think we want—and, maybe, can’t get—until we forget what caused the wanting in the first place…which means we don’t see the perfectly good options that may be right there, close by, right there in the fucking pantry.