How we filter the world

There’s something that bothers me about the “I don’t want to see this” Facebook option.

There’s a cost to filtering out everything that makes me uncomfortable. There’s real arrogance at the idea of clicking a button to take away what I don’t want to see. I pretend to make it go away, but it doesn’t. It’s still there. I’m just not acknowledging its existence anymore. I’m removing my attention… Continue reading

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Anger lesson #2

Anger itself is not a problem. Nope.

Anger is often connected to unpleasant outbursts, to yelling and screaming and cursing at people, to heated arguments, to fights, to conflicts both verbal and physical, to abuse, to violence.

But anger is not the problem.

Anger is a feeling. It is not bad; it is not good; it just is.

Anger is a feeling, and a feeling is a… Continue reading

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Anger lesson #1

Being able to consistently control or stifle your anger is not a sign that you’re emotionally healthy.

It’s not a sign that you don’t have much of a temper, or that you don’t care, or that you’re super mature.

It’s a sign that you’ve learned, one way or another, to exercise great restraint over how you outwardly express your anger.

Sometimes this restraint is good.

It’s… Continue reading

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Simple rules, again

There is a pattern in many of my failures, my unsuccessful attempts at… whatever: I got too complicated. I created too many rules. I overwhelmed myself because the mental effort of remembering and following and tinkering with and optimizing and applying the rules was too much. The complication depleted my energy and intellectual capacity. I used up my power managing a complex system rather than doing the thing I wanted… Continue reading

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Parenting thoughts

I’ve been thinking about how often, as parents, we do most of our doing at this level we consider “above” our kids.

We don’t mean it in a rude or superior way, just that we’re all busy doing adult stuff and they’re in their kid world. Sometimes we bring them up into our adult world (let’s have a nice dinner out, let’s sit down and work on this thing… Continue reading

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