Publish your guest post.

I do appreciate your interest. However, I do not accept guest posts on this site. I do accept guest posts on Prolifica, my business site. Please see these guidelines.

Write press releases.

No. I’m not good at it and I don’t like it.

Handle public relations.

No.

Get posts published for you on major! blogs! and! websites!

No. You gotta earn your backlinks, my friend. If you need help along those lines (i.e., creating content that earns quality backlinks), see these options.

Do your social media stuff.

No.

Write on spec or send you a free customized writing sample.

No. This is a waste of my time and I value my time.

Take little/no pay because you’re letting me get in on the ground floor.

No. I don’t like the ground floor. This is not an appealing offer.

Hassle with you over my rates.

No.  Here they are. Take ’em or leave ’em. 🙂

Send you a free writing sample to prove I’m qualified.

No.

Rewrite the stuff you wrote that just needs a little polishing, honest, for half my normal rate.

No.

Promote the posts I write for you.

No.

Well, kind of. If you want a blogger who will do the writing and formatting and editing and also all the promotional work that is marketing which is NOT the same as writing, then No: I do not provide this service for the price of a blog post. What you actually want is a content marketing manager. I do provide this service: here are the details.

Promote your product or service or tool or app or what-have-you on this site.

I’m also quite unlikely to share your guide or resource or infographic or ebook. If you really really really think I’d really really really like it, please use this form.


That felt really cathartic. I need to write these more often.