Publish your guest post.
I do appreciate your interest. However, I do not publish guest posts on this site.
Promote your resource or product.
Thank you so much, but promotion is just not a good fit for me or for this site.
Write press releases.
No. I’m not good at it and I don’t like it.
Handle public relations.
Get posts published for you on major! blogs! and! websites!
No. You need a marketing firm.
Do your social media stuff.
Write on spec or send you a free customized writing sample.
No. This is a waste of my time and I value my time.
Take little/no pay because you’re letting me get in on the ground floor.
No. I don’t like the ground floor. This is not an appealing offer.
Send you a free writing sample to prove I’m qualified.
Rewrite the stuff you wrote that just needs a little polishing, honest, for half my normal rate.
No. I will do it for double my normal rate.
Promote your product or service or tool or app or what-have-you on this site.
I know I already said this, but I still get lots of emails asking. So I’m saying it again. I’m not going to share the guide or resource or infographic or ebook. Thank you and good night.
That felt really cathartic. I need to write these more often.