Knife knife knife

Anger feels powerful. Self-righteousness feels good. Righteous anger? It’s addictive. No wonder so many of us want to live in that particular emotional combination. I love it. I can work myself right out of a big bad sad by ranting at the injustice of [fill in the blank]. I’m so good at those one-sided conversations, […]

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Running marathons

On Sunday night, when I’m on my game, I sit down at my laptop and figure out what’s what for the week ahead and try to fit in the work things and life things and parenting things and things that are just for me. In the mornings, I open up my calendar and scan the […]

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Rage against the avoidance

“A great deal of intelligence can be invested in ignorance when the need for illusion is deep.” Saul Bellow Avoidance is a way of death, of growing smaller and smaller, shrinking and shrinking until you force your whole being to crouch down and curl up and fit inside the little shell of identity that your fears […]

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Love is a motherf****r

Love looks a lot of different ways. It wears a lot of different clothes. It takes off one hat and puts on another. Maybe love doesn’t get to look the way you want it to, today. Maybe your heart longs to fix, but love is asking you to wait. Maybe your will is shaky, collapsing, […]

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A blessing for your day

May you forgive yourself. May you treat guilt like a parasite. May you bring shame into the sun and hang it up to dry, and when you come back to collect it may you find it dissolved and disappeared, carried away with dust motes and torn leaves. May you learn how to lessen the load […]

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The need for not-normal

A few weeks ago I finished watching The Leftovers, which is one of the rare shows that keeps me thinking about it after. It first aired in 2014 and it’s about what happens, how people react after “a stunning global event.” In the show, the event is called the Departure. One day, 140 million people simply […]

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Is the wave sad?

“We are what’s happening.” —Ram Dass I have some questions. At what point is a rock a rock and not part of a mountain? How separate does it have to become from the mountain to be a boulder or a pebble? When is it no longer a chunk of cliff or part of the peak? […]

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Fling wide the gates

“Sometimes people let the same problem make them miserable for years when they could just say, So what. That’s one of my favorite things to say. So what.” —Andy Warhol I’m tired of hearing it, this voice in my head, this ugly mean girl voice. I’m tired of it. Get out. It wears me out, it wears me […]

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