I’m writing this for the young mothers and fathers and for the bright-eyed soon-to-be parents.
These are the most important, helpful, meaningful, actually understandable lessons I’ve learned as a parent.
Please note, though: I’m no parenting expert. First, experience does not equal expertise. Second, I’m still deep in this mess. Our four kids are still not old, in any sense. Our youngest is 9, our oldest newly 14.
I’ve got no “finished product” to show as an example of my parenting wisdom.
But here’s the thing: childhood is short. You don’t have time to get good at parenting. You just have to do it.
There’s a certain type of energy I want to talk about: the mother energy.
There’s a shadow side to this mother energy and it is deep and it is strong and it is destructive.
This is a tough thing to look at, in yourself. Tough to see it.
We have this ability and energy and drive in us to nurture, to teach, to protect. We use this energy to bring our babies (our creations of all kinds) into our world, and to keep them safe until they are ready to go form their own worlds. Continue reading “Love is not safe”
I’m a 38-year-old menopausal woman. Two years ago, I had a complete hysterectomy during surgery for an ovarian cyst. I went from being a young-ish, healthy, energetic woman with predictable cycles and a decent sex drive and no shortage of natural lubrication to…
Well, something entirely different. Continue reading “What it’s like to lose your sex drive”
Let’s do a little imagination exercise and see where it takes us.
Pretend with me, for a moment, that nobody owes you anything.
Are you clear on those words, though?
You can’t come up with caveats or loopholes. Continue reading “If nobody owed you anything”
Making decisions is a difficult and tiring thing you have to do all day long. Let’s talk about why decision making is difficult, and how to make it less difficult. But first, let’s talk about how to evaluate decisions. Continue reading “Tools to improve your decision making process”
To be honest, still learning.
1: Everything is okay, even when it’s not okay.
We are okay. We are better than okay. We can breathe in, we can let go, we can live, we can let ourselves be not okay or okay. We can move through it all flowing or resisting. We can get through the expected and unexpected. All of it is life. All of it is a gift, maybe even a blessing. Continue reading “19 things I learned in 2019”
What’s the opposite of gratitude?
Ingratitude, thanklessness, or unappreciation?
Those states are defined by what they are not: INgratitude, thankLESSness, UNappreciation. They indicate a lack: what’s missing is gratitude. Ingratitude is not the opposite of gratitude, but a state caused by the lack of it. (As thirst is not the opposite of water, but a state indicating the lack of water.) Continue reading “Gratitude vs ambition”
My mom used to have muscle pain in her shoulders. Usually one shoulder at a time.
She’d walk around rolling her neck and shrugging and getting us to massage the crunchy spot.
Finally it would work itself out.
It took hours or it took days. Continue reading “All the strong women”