The 3 most important lessons I’ve learned as a parent of 4

I’m writing this for the young mothers and fathers and for the bright-eyed soon-to-be parents.

These are the most important, helpful, meaningful, actually understandable lessons I’ve learned as a parent.

Please note, though: I’m no parenting expert. First, experience does not equal expertise. Second, I’m still deep in this mess. Our four kids are still not old, in any sense. Our youngest is 9, our oldest newly 14.

I’ve got no “finished product” to show as an example of my parenting wisdom.

But here’s the thing: childhood is short. You don’t have time to get good at parenting. You just have to do it.

Love is not safe

There’s a certain type of energy I want to talk about: the mother energy.

There’s a shadow side to this mother energy and it is deep and it is strong and it is destructive.

This is a tough thing to look at, in yourself. Tough to see it.

We have this ability and energy and drive in us to nurture, to teach, to protect. We use this energy to bring our babies (our creations of all kinds) into our world, and to keep them safe until they are ready to go form their own worlds.

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Gratitude vs ambition

What’s the opposite of gratitude?  

Ingratitude, thanklessness, or unappreciation?  

Those states are defined by what they are not: INgratitude, thankLESSness, UNappreciation. They indicate a lack: what’s missing is gratitude. Ingratitude is not the opposite of gratitude, but a state caused by the lack of it. (As thirst is not the opposite of water, but a state indicating the lack of water.)  

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