We seek approval.
(See here and here and here and here.)
We often seek approval at the expense of connection:
- I do something that Person A will approve, meaning that Person B will not approve
- I identify as part of THIS group, and that ruins my chances (mostly) of connecting with people in THAT group
- I pursue the approval of some clique or type of person, which tells people who aren’t in that clique/of that type that I don’t value their approval… at least not as much. Devaluing people doesn’t make them want to connect with you.
More importantly, we disconnect from the real Self when we seek approval.
Good news! We don’t need to seek approval. We can give it to ourselves.
We don’t need approval from others. It comes from within.
We do need others for connection.
When we connect with another real Self, it reminds us of who we are.
We need other people for connection and support. We can’t connect in isolation.
Approval is a one-time gift that most people don’t really have the right to give us.
Connection is a free thing, ongoing. Anybody can give it to anybody else. No prerequisites.