“…generally we try to make sense of life by constructing it outwardly to fit external criteria and expectations.
The soul has its own set of rules, which are not the same as those of life. Unlike the steady progress of history, for instance, the events of the soul are cyclic and repetitive.”
—Thomas Moore
Our culture’s tendency (and our individual tendency, as a result) is to look to external reality for direction and validation.
We also look for external feedback on whether we’ve done a good job of “constructing life.” We seek feedback, affirmation, approval, encouragement, adulation, recognition, and admiration.
We want people to see something worthwhile in what we’ve built—in the external structures and choices and actions and behaviors that they can see, the external identity that we wear.
But in so doing we ignore—and then become disconnected from—the inner world. Our inner world, which is the basis of our reality. And then something even weirder happens: we begin to fear the inner world. Because we feel disconnected from it, from what’s inside, we begin to experience it as “other,” as something unpredictable. Something unknown and threatening.
Once we fear it, we begin to actively avoid it.
That’s insanity.
Whatever we built in the external world is always an outpouring, an expression of our internal world. Who We Really Are exists on the inside, in the spirit or soul or mind or self, whatever you want to call it.
The choices we make and roles we assume are reflections or expressions of the internal self.
They may not be accurate expressions. They may be distorted. They may be more ego than self. But they spring out of something internal, and we take that internal energy and mold it into some external expression.
But when we become disconnected from our own internal world, our inner reality, we no longer have a source. We no longer have inspiration or meaning. All we have left are habits and ruts.
Have you ever wondered why a role or behavior or activity you once loved can become so unsatisfying? Can change from feeling like a gift to feeling like a trap?
Look for the disconnection.
It may not be that you no longer value the role or activity. It may be that you’re disconnected from your internal self, from the real source that motivated you to step into that role or engage in that activity.
If that’s so, then the problem isn’t with the external expression. You’re not mad about the role or activity itself. You’re unhappy because it’s no longer connected to the most real part of you, the internal part, the real self.
You need to reconnect with the internal world, and from it, form your external world.
Don’t seek to change the externals until you’re sure of what’s going on internally.
Start there. Start where the real choices are made. Start in the place where you are simple and true and have a self that is your own. Know that self. Step back inside and be quiet there long enough to hear your own voice.
Then you’ll know what belongs—and what doesn’t belong—in your external world. No haphazard shuffling. No running away because you’re frustrated or confused. No adding on, chaotically, because it feels like something’s missing.
Instead, simple and deliberate choices. Clarity. Find your internal blueprint. Then create your external reality.
Photo by Mathieu Stern on Unsplash