Anger itself is not a problem. Nope.
Anger is often connected to unpleasant outbursts, to yelling and screaming and cursing at people, to heated arguments, to fights, to conflicts both verbal and physical, to abuse, to violence.
But anger is not the problem.
Anger is a feeling. It is not bad; it is not good; it just is.
Anger is a feeling, and a feeling is a… Continue reading
Being able to consistently control or stifle your anger is not a sign that you’re emotionally healthy.
It’s not a sign that you don’t have much of a temper, or that you don’t care, or that you’re super mature.
It’s a sign that you’ve learned, one way or another, to exercise great restraint over how you outwardly express your anger.
Sometimes this restraint is good.
It’s… Continue reading
We seek approval.
(See here and here and here and here.)
We often seek approval at the expense of connection:
- I do something that Person A will approve, meaning that Person B will not approve
- I identify as part of THIS group, and that ruins my chances (mostly) of connecting with people in THAT group
- I pursue the approval of
There are a lot of support needs in life. That’s great. We all need and help each other.
What’s not great is when the support needs turn you into support staff. The needs take all your time. They come first in the priority list. And your core activities, the things that are you and that you do for yourself, get shoved to last place which, inevitably, becomes not at all… Continue reading