It's more fun

Start assuming the best

About yourself, about life, and about every single person you meet.

Assume that you have done your best, and your best will keep getting better.

Assume that you are loved, and lovely.

Assume that you have something valuable to offer. Assume that you are valuable. You are worthy. You are accepted. You are wanted. You are needed. You are admired. You are understood. You do matter… Continue reading

Why would you give me this

Acceptance vs approval

These two things are not the same. They are very different. But we get them mixed up all the time, and that’s problematic.

Mixing up acceptance and approval creates all sorts of confusion, and misunderstandings, and cycles of abuse.

Acceptance is what we need and want from each other, but all too often we go around asking for approval instead. 

And we go around giving out approval

chris-child-462555

Quit writing open letters

Dear people writing open letters:

Please stop.

We all know that your open letters are not really letters to the “designated recipients.”

We all know that you’re really writing to us, the public, the masses, the mindless scrollers of newsfeed loops, the social media followers, and that you have thoughts. Opinions. Valuable opinions to share about this latest thing, this story, this whatever-the-hell happened.

And you… Continue reading

Help always wanted

Quit being support staff

There are a lot of support needs in life. That’s great. We all need and help each other.

What’s not great is when the support needs turn you into support staff. The needs take all your time. They come first in the priority list. And your core activities, the things that are you and that you do for yourself, get shoved to last place which, inevitably, becomes not at all… Continue reading

Individually alone

The problem with individuality

I go through life, for better or for worse, with myself at the center of it.

I don’t know how any of us can break out of that perspective, the individual perspective, the individual will, the separation of me and not you, of I and not us.

Perhaps that lesson —unity— is the lesson all of humanity must learn before we can move on to anything better than… Continue reading

Building a system

Dependency, systems, and change

What is a culture but a collection of systems commonly shared within a group of people?

What is a system but an organized set of rules, a set of norms, usually arbitrary, arranged and followed for a purpose?

Language is a system. We agree to certain grammatical rules and standards. The symbols we use to convey sound and meaning are arbitrary. The important part is that… Continue reading