Acceptance vs approval

These two things are not the same. They are very different. But we get them mixed up all the time, and that’s problematic.

Mixing up acceptance and approval creates all sorts of confusion, and misunderstandings, and cycles of abuse.

Acceptance is what we need and want from each other, but all too often we go around asking for approval instead. 

And we go around giving out approval

Continue Reading

Quit writing open letters

Dear people writing open letters:

Please stop.

We all know that your open letters are not really letters to the “designated recipients.”

We all know that you’re really writing to us, the public, the masses, the mindless scrollers of newsfeed loops, the social media followers, and that you have thoughts. Opinions. Valuable opinions to share about this latest thing, this story, this whatever-the-hell happened.

And you… Continue reading

Continue Reading

Quit being support staff

There are a lot of support needs in life. That’s great. We all need and help each other.

What’s not great is when the support needs turn you into support staff. The needs take all your time. They come first in the priority list. And your core activities, the things that are you and that you do for yourself, get shoved to last place which, inevitably, becomes not at all… Continue reading

Continue Reading

Why I try to sound important

I have this urge to write first-person things in the plural.

“We really think that…”

Who is we?
There is no we.

It’s just me here. It’s just me responding to the email. It’s just me setting up the meeting. It’s just me answering a question. It’s just me writing a post. It’s just me.

So this WE thing…

Is this the Royal We?
What… Continue reading

Continue Reading