We seek approval.
(See here and here and here and here.)
We often seek approval at the expense of connection:
- I do something that Person A will approve, meaning that Person B will not approve
- I identify as part of THIS group, and that ruins my chances (mostly) of connecting with people in THAT group
- I pursue the approval of
Dear people writing open letters:
We all know that your open letters are not really letters to the “designated recipients.”
We all know that you’re really writing to us, the public, the masses, the mindless scrollers of newsfeed loops, the social media followers, and that you have thoughts. Opinions. Valuable opinions to share about this latest thing, this story, this whatever-the-hell happened.
And you… Continue reading
Once you see that a system is just a system, everything changes.
Once you see that the system is a man-made structure, an organization with a certain order and a certain set of priorities imposed upon reality rather than reality itself, you can’t unsee that.
You can’t trust a system again, ever, 100%.
You always have this knowing, back of your mind.
A hum, a… Continue reading
Optional, of course, but helpful.
1. Be careful with your Yes.
A yes is an agreement. It’s a contract, and it’s a good idea to be careful – even hesitant – of who and what you attach yourself to in verbal contract. Casual agreement can be construed as you making a commitment when perhaps that’s not what you intend.
I have this rule because I like to make people happy… Continue reading
I was thinking about this idea of respect as the baseline again.
It’s like this:
- Respect is what we owe one another. It’s the basic price we (should) pay for human interaction.
- Kindness is what we give to each other. We can choose to give it or not.
When someone offers you kindness without first giving you respect, it’s insulting.
It’s… Continue reading
Every time I run across this little quote, I love it:
Sometimes people use “respect” to mean “treating someone like a person” and sometimes they use “respect” to mean “treating someone like an authority”
and sometimes people who are used to being treated like an authority say “if you won’t respect me I won’t respect you” and they mean “if you won’t treat me like an authority I won’t… Continue reading