Peeking PastFoliage (2)

You are bigger than the picture you’re in

Energy is movement and can lead to growth, opens the path for growth, clears the way for growth.

Energy is also a force that can wipe out all the landmarks we look to for comfort and guidance.

It’s the same thing. Do you look at the razed-clear roadway and think, “Ah! Now it will be so much easier to move forward!” or do you cry and weep and groan and moan for the familiar things that have been swept away.

It’s okay to grieve what you have lost. There’s nothing wrong with emotion, with the feelings of anguish and anger, but you don’t have to have those feelings all the time. You don’t have to approach every change in your life with those feelings blocking you in and insisting on a certain interpretation of events.

What if everything is actually wonderful and you are looking at it upside down?
What if the taking away is a giving, a huge generosity, and you are standing a little too close to get a good perspective on it?
What if there’s absolutely nothing standing between you and a kind of ecstatic and unhinged happiness except your need to have a label that tells you who you are?
What if that label, the identity you want so badly, isn’t a help or a boost into anything real but is a cage blocking you into a certain way of life that’s never going to be enough for you? You infinite creature, you deserve more than labels and categories, don’t you.

You know it. I know it. We all know it, but we’re trained in self-deprecation and self-doubt from birth onward, all of us. This training occurs in various forms in the different cultures and families we find ourselves a part of, but the training is harsh and continual, unrelenting.

If you’ve maintained a shred of your divine knowledge, some spark that reminds you not to settle, don’t settle, no, don’t settle then that’s a treasure. It makes you feel left out and warped, it makes you feel unsustainable and awkward, it makes you feel as if you have no right to ask anything of anyone why can’t you fit in, why can’t you be happy like everyone else but that’s okay. Don’t listen to those voices.

The fact that you can’t fit in, not quite, no matter how hard you try, well, that’s a great thing. I’m happy for you about that. I feel so good for you about that. That’s a promise. That’s a guarantee. That’s a reminder. It’s the voice of So Much More whispering to you that keeps you unsatisfied.
You’ve tried being a good consumer and it didn’t work, did it?
Are you not entertained? No? What’s wrong with you?

Nothing.
Everything.

Depends on how you look at it. Depends on how you look at yourself.

Maybe you take a few steps further back from the edge of that group or that norm or that identity you’ve been running after for so long. Quit leaning into it. Quit striving to become it, to fit into it, to melt yourself seamlessly into that group that seems like it might feel like home, finally.

Step back, step back, step back, take a few deep breaths and take another look.

Maybe that’s not for you, eh? Maybe that is a trap. Maybe that is a very small space in an enormously large universe. You’ve saved yourself from one trap after another by being dissatisfied, by being unable to push in past the edges. You’ve never been able to let go fully, have you? Never able to that ecstasy of belonging that other people seem to have.

Because you (and they, too, but they’ll find out on their own, when it’s time) belong to something bigger.

If the small spaces will not hold you, don’t blame yourself. Don’t diminish yourself to fit into them.
If the stick-on labels of society won’t stick to you, don’t change yourself. Don’t cut off some part of your soul, don’t sand down your surface to be smooth and shiny enough to make the label adhere.

What is the lasting part of this picture?

The small systems, the system-built cultures and spaces, the culture-defined labels, or you, the soul
immortal
eternal
infinite?

Letting go

On letting go

You don’t get to know ahead of time: when you’ll be asked. If you’ll be ready. What it will look like. How it will feel.

You can try to prepare, anyway you like. Mentally, physically, emotionally.

You can pack bags or unpack baggage. All these things are allowed. You can do therapy or do yoga. You can run and hide, change your identity, sing out a mantra moment… Continue reading

today

Today is your day

It’s here.

Morning.

Today.

What are you going to do?

You can avoid it, turn your back to it, resist the energy calling you and the possibilities awaiting you. You can tell Today to wait on you. (It won’t, but tomorrow is around the corner, I hear.) Are you drained, exhausted, sick in body or sick at heart?

Is rest what you need today?

You can… Continue reading

It's more fun

Start assuming the best

About yourself, about life, and about every single person you meet.

Assume that you have done your best, and your best will keep getting better.

Assume that you are loved, and lovely.

Assume that you have something valuable to offer. Assume that you are valuable. You are worthy. You are accepted. You are wanted. You are needed. You are admired. You are understood. You do matter… Continue reading

Here we are

We’re all children

I had a conversation with my Dad when I was just about to graduate from college. I’ll never forget it. He said, “You know, Annie, I’m in my fifties now, but I still feel, inside, exactly the same as I did at 22.”

And I thought… “Well, darn, here I am at 22 and I guess this is it.”

Now I’m 35 and I still feel pretty much… Continue reading

Remember this

Some things to remember

1. Everybody’s version of success is different.

When someone says they have success at something, find out what success means in their definition.

They might mean, “I make a lot of money doing this,” and you might mean, “I am really happy doing this.”

If you want to learn from someone, you need to have a shared definition of success. Otherwise they might teach you all they… Continue reading