Peeking PastFoliage (2)

You are bigger than the picture you’re in

Energy is movement and can lead to growth, opens the path for growth, clears the way for growth.

Energy is also a force that can wipe out all the landmarks we look to for comfort and guidance.

It’s the same thing. Do you look at the razed-clear roadway and think, “Ah! Now it will be so much easier to move forward!” or do you cry and weep and groan and moan for the familiar things that have been swept away.

It’s okay to grieve what you have lost. There’s nothing wrong with emotion, with the feelings of anguish and anger, but you don’t have to have those feelings all the time. You don’t have to approach every change in your life with those feelings blocking you in and insisting on a certain interpretation of events.

What if everything is actually wonderful and you are looking at it upside down?
What if the taking away is a giving, a huge generosity, and you are standing a little too close to get a good perspective on it?
What if there’s absolutely nothing standing between you and a kind of ecstatic and unhinged happiness except your need to have a label that tells you who you are?
What if that label, the identity you want so badly, isn’t a help or a boost into anything real but is a cage blocking you into a certain way of life that’s never going to be enough for you? You infinite creature, you deserve more than labels and categories, don’t you.

You know it. I know it. We all know it, but we’re trained in self-deprecation and self-doubt from birth onward, all of us. This training occurs in various forms in the different cultures and families we find ourselves a part of, but the training is harsh and continual, unrelenting.

If you’ve maintained a shred of your divine knowledge, some spark that reminds you not to settle, don’t settle, no, don’t settle then that’s a treasure. It makes you feel left out and warped, it makes you feel unsustainable and awkward, it makes you feel as if you have no right to ask anything of anyone why can’t you fit in, why can’t you be happy like everyone else but that’s okay. Don’t listen to those voices.

The fact that you can’t fit in, not quite, no matter how hard you try, well, that’s a great thing. I’m happy for you about that. I feel so good for you about that. That’s a promise. That’s a guarantee. That’s a reminder. It’s the voice of So Much More whispering to you that keeps you unsatisfied.
You’ve tried being a good consumer and it didn’t work, did it?
Are you not entertained? No? What’s wrong with you?


Depends on how you look at it. Depends on how you look at yourself.

Maybe you take a few steps further back from the edge of that group or that norm or that identity you’ve been running after for so long. Quit leaning into it. Quit striving to become it, to fit into it, to melt yourself seamlessly into that group that seems like it might feel like home, finally.

Step back, step back, step back, take a few deep breaths and take another look.

Maybe that’s not for you, eh? Maybe that is a trap. Maybe that is a very small space in an enormously large universe. You’ve saved yourself from one trap after another by being dissatisfied, by being unable to push in past the edges. You’ve never been able to let go fully, have you? Never able to that ecstasy of belonging that other people seem to have.

Because you (and they, too, but they’ll find out on their own, when it’s time) belong to something bigger.

If the small spaces will not hold you, don’t blame yourself. Don’t diminish yourself to fit into them.
If the stick-on labels of society won’t stick to you, don’t change yourself. Don’t cut off some part of your soul, don’t sand down your surface to be smooth and shiny enough to make the label adhere.

What is the lasting part of this picture?

The small systems, the system-built cultures and spaces, the culture-defined labels, or you, the soul


Why you (yes, you) need to be a better writer (and how to get started)

More people need more content for more reasons, and that means that people are doing more writing.

Part of me thinks that’s really cool, because words! are! great! and I like that more people are using them and (one hopes) appreciating them.

Part of me weeps softly in the corner over my thesaurus and a well-worn copy of The Little, Brown Handbook.

Somewhere between the hundredth listicle… Continue reading

Happiness is books

My reading workflow: Part 1, book recommendations

I am a fiend for book recommendations, especially if they come from people who (seem to) have similar reading taste to mine. Or from authors I follow. Or from friends whose insight and personality I like (and generally that’s all my friends, because kind of otherwise, why would we be friends? But anyway, that’s beside the point).

So I come across a lot of book recommendations on Twitter, and… Continue reading

Everything you’ve ever wanted to know about using a 6-box to-do list

After you use a boxed to-do list for a while, you start to think of your life as a set of focus areas. You think of your tasks as part of these areas. You see how your tasks belong (and thus, help progress) a certain area or how they don’t belong. And you start to reject, delegate, or delay tasks that don’t belong in those focus areas. Continue reading

Be a writer!

How to be a writer

These are the steps you have to take.

1.Write daily.

By daily I mean every day.

By every day I mean every day, not every weekday or every not-busy day or every day I feel inspired.

Write to a word count or write for a specified amount of time.

On the weekend days or the busy days or the uninspired days, write less: a smaller word count, a shorter… Continue reading

Letting go

On letting go

You don’t get to know ahead of time: when you’ll be asked. If you’ll be ready. What it will look like. How it will feel.

You can try to prepare, anyway you like. Mentally, physically, emotionally.

You can pack bags or unpack baggage. All these things are allowed. You can do therapy or do yoga. You can run and hide, change your identity, sing out a mantra moment… Continue reading