We seek approval.
(See here and here and here and here.)
We often seek approval at the expense of connection:
- I do something that Person A will approve, meaning that Person B will not approve
- I identify as part of THIS group, and that ruins my chances (mostly) of connecting with people in THAT group
- I pursue the approval of
It’s one thing to be a little crazed because of your unique creative inner self.
It’s another entirely to go crazy because someone else’s going-doing-scheming-dreaming-unpredictability-inner burn sent you there.
You want to maintain stability and guard your own creative space while also allowing this important person in your life to have freedom, encouragement, and support.
Let’s start with two ground rules.
1. The fact that someone in
Once you see that a system is just a system, everything changes.
Once you see that the system is a man-made structure, an organization with a certain order and a certain set of priorities imposed upon reality rather than reality itself, you can’t unsee that.
You can’t trust a system again, ever, 100%.
You always have this knowing, back of your mind.
A hum, a… Continue reading
There are two basic directions you can head with your life. Your direction determines your way of life. And a lot of other stuff.
You’re aiming at one or the other, whether you mean to or not. One doesn’t really take any more work than the other. (It just seems like it does.)
You can aim for comfort OR you can aim for growth.
That doesn’t mean you… Continue reading
There are a lot of support needs in life. That’s great. We all need and help each other.
What’s not great is when the support needs turn you into support staff. The needs take all your time. They come first in the priority list. And your core activities, the things that are you and that you do for yourself, get shoved to last place which, inevitably, becomes not at all… Continue reading
Remember the “Big Dogs” business blip of the ’90s? [Hey, they’re still around.] T-shirts, mugs, posters. Those were some motivational big dogs.
They said things like, “If you can’t run with the big dogs, stay on the porch.”
It was a (not so subtly) implied question: are you going to be a leader or just another nobody in the pack?
Truth be told, most of us… Continue reading